How To Be a Hipster


“Hey man, want to go see the Martha Stewart band?”

“the what band?”

“Oh it’s just this band you probably never heard of”

Hey, do you want to be that guy? The mysterious yet sexy yet under fashion yet over fashioned person?

Don’t worry Kimosabi, I got you covered, smothered and scattered. (I’m not waffle house)

  1. Get rid of your tube socks. Go buy some cool socks from Gap, low price and people will think you listen to Passion Pit or something
  2. Avoid talking to young people. always put yourself in an older crowd. Woah that guy is like 17 but he is friends with 40 year olds?!!?!? What a Hipster!
  3. You can always blog! Hey whoa you have a blog? is it about Russian revolutions pro’s and cons?
  4. start a petition to save animals
  5. Go green
  6.  always go to the Zoo and just stare at animals and be like “man I look so much like James Franco right now”
  7. Take name brand medicines when you are sick, they work better and are more effective, this is not blog related I just want people to stay healthy.
  8. Read my blog
  9. Don’t shop at Wal-mart,CVS, or Target. Walgreens and Costco are good!
  10. go to a party and see what people are doing, DO THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE, Just go and stand in the corner and look at plants people will be more than wanting to come over and talk to you.
  11. Don’t answer questions, just smile, Creepy but works
  12. Read HotRod books, cool cars and who does that? No one. Tell me one person who reads Hot rod books besides my dad
  13. shush people, you got things to listen to
  14. Eat Papaya
  15. Look like all your clothes come from a 30’s thrift store but cost department prices.
  16. Drive Subaru
  17. always part your hair in the direction of the sun and when it sets it comes from the other part. magical I know but somehow Hipsters can do it.
  18. Listen to One Direction, people will be like you listen to them??!? but hey those boys make some damn good music!
  19. just look at books in a large public area and pretend you are reading them, it adds intelligence and wisdom to your mysteriousness
  20. Latte art! rage and sensation right now in hipster business!!

Thanks for reading! be sure to share this with your friends and family! RT it on twitter and shout it out on my Zoosk.

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