How To Get Away With Arson
“Hey man!!! We gotta get out of here now!!!!! I just burned down this building man!!! and my DNA IS LITERALLY EVERYWHERE!! LET”S GO TO MEXICO NOW!!!”- Henry P
^^^^^^ “WRONG!!!!”- Steven K
See I just criticized that guy on my own blog, Yeah I do that stuff now, Jealous Becca? Or are you just at home send pictures of your earlobes to Spencer because you guys do weird unholy things like that. Okay. Let’s begin.
So, You just committed Arson, man you need to get away right? Yeah I got you covered. Just read this
- Gloves, DNA off your hands and on the gloves, after you the burning, burn the gloves, double arson, are you still single after double arson? I am 😦 things get pretty lonely for me 😦
- change your name to something no one would expect, I’m not giving an example because it’s what I would use and make up your own name you unrealistic fart
- use chevron gasoline, trust me its top quality!!
- always have a decoy, a runner, and a trapper, you will be in and out of there in no time with a fire in your background
- distract citizens and others with your friend playing some kind of new era hip/hop song a block away, people love this!!!
- pour tons of shampoo on yourself before you enter in the fire so the fire can’t harm you!
- Maybe if you’re into weird religions like paegons and stuff, sacrifice a body for good luck!
- Don’t do this if you’re pregnant!!
- if the police are like “Hey! did you just burn this building down?!!?” Be like “nah dog, that aint me!” and he will be like “No, I just saw you burn that down!” you will be like “NO way Pig, hey read this latest post on Exceptional Yet Lovely!!” and the pig will be like “I Love this blog! did you know I share and RT it because I’m a nice person and I want everyone to see the blog so one day Steven can eat steak instead of Eggo waffles wrapped in cheerio bracelets” boom you already ran off!!
- a bottle of water so if the fire gets to intense, just poor it out and poof the fire is gone! Am I right Siegel?
- Summon a Pegasus to grab you and fly out of the burning building to safety!!
- Don’t move around much inside the fire, you may catch on fire and I don’t want to lose a friend, okay 😦 I already lost Ted. RIP Ted, love you bro.
- Shave your whole head!
- Eat a hearty breakfast!
- Avoid Fatty foods like Cookie crisp
“Wow Steven, this blog entry sucked!! are you running out of Ideas? Get some new material you sell Out!!”- Laura
Okay, Laura, that was mean 😦
“Hey dude! this blog entry rocked! really made me think more about Buddhism”- Dmizzle
Haha NO probs D
“Hey do you still have that tractor?”- Earl
Who are you?
Join me next time on my blog when I discuss about other things