Fun things to do on Sunday (keeping the Sabbath holy)

Hello readers,homo sapiens, and Neanderthals welcome to EYL (egg yoke learnings) where you will find humor and sass without the uncomfortable staring eyes of Martha Stewart. In this segment I’m bringing the pilgrims and Indians together for one final dinner, it’s called “Fun things to do on Sunday (keeping the Sabbath holy)”, I’m very creative. So let’s cut off the butchers arm and deep fry this sucker shall we?

  1. Strangle your neighbors pet goldfish
  2. Put lassos around children and use force to capture them
  3. Eat a gyro
  4. Make your own beef jerky
  5. Play hours on end of Jenga with a cardboard cut-out of Ryan Seacrest( please do not romance with the cut-out)
  6. Buy a trident
  7. Massage my shoulders?
  8. Drink tainted holy water
  9. Read my blog
  10. Ask your friend Paul if he/she is constipated, if they says yes spend your evening cuddling with him/her
  11. Spit at Senior citizens
  12. Make an inappropriate rap song how you are going to change the “rap game”
  13. Pole vault over tall objects
  14. Call those nice girls who are on TV after midnight
  15. Clip out pictures of Rhianna and put them all over your wall
  16. Buy some of Rhianna’s hair off Amazon/eBay
  17. throw eggs at an abortion clinic/ support abortion clinics, I’m not biased so do which ever your political feelings aim towards
  18. Hi Rachel
  19. Purchase some Altec Lansing speakers and sell them for profit to someone who isn’t that smart with speakers who wants to buy new speakers

So I hope all this came in handy and for your Sunday funday, And remember stay safe but if someone is trying to bust open your knee-cap you have the right to slap them in the face. Live from my tiny crawlspace of a bedroom, I’m Stevey J and remember to keep clean and wash out your ear lobes thrice a week.

One response to “Fun things to do on Sunday (keeping the Sabbath holy)”

  1. Nicholiovich says :

    The “thou shalt not kill” commandment contradicts the first suggestion on that list. But this is coming from someone who would get shitfaced on Saturday night just to avoid Sunday mass.
    Do visit sometime.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: