Archive | July 2014

Five Things to Avoid at Best Buy

 

dumb

 

Best Buy can be a great store, but you also have to keep a lookout for weirdos, goths, and other groups of people you can easily stereotype.  Best Buy is a great store for many great products, except for finding friends which only leads to a hole inside your heart.

 

1. Avoid eye contact with a man’s woman

Guys get super jealous when you look at their babe.  If you happen to be starring at a woman, which you probably are unless they’re ugly, I personally say great job! Because chances are you are using my S.C.O.O.P system.  Guys will tend to gain roid rage and throw a half off Lost dvd collection at you. To avoid such, simply run towards the customer services desk yelling and pointing at the man chasing you

 

2. Purchasing a CD

it’s 2014, this is pretty much self explanatory

 

3. Don’t bring in your limited edition 1984 Japanese Katana sword

Most stores and public places don’t allow weapons of any sort, Best Buy’s manager Katherine makes this rule strictly enforced.  I don’t know how may times I’ve been escorted out of a Best Buy for trying to show people in the sound department my new sword trick I’ve learned.

 

4. You can’t make home in a Best Buy

Sometimes I am kicked out of my house for cooking(oven, microwave, never stove top) articles of my parent’s clothes for scientific research to gain knowledge in time travel and fashion.  I also was kicked out of my home once for running a low-key Colonoscopy clinic in my basement which had great deals on Colonoscopies and foot rubs.  If forced out of your home, living in a Best Buy can be tough due to lack of food, security cameras, and a poor choice of demos you can play.  Nutrient is key in today’s society and trying to be the healthy human I am, mountain dew and hard pretzels don’t give me the vitamins and minerals I need.  Katherine is always on my tail whenever I try to stay at Best Buy, many times( every time) I am escorted out by the cops and fined heavily. Playing stage one of the new Sonic game keeps getting old and old, I personally grow tired of it and hope to play the new Mario Kart 8 station whenever Katherine decides to be a decent manager and release the appropriate Kiosk.

 

5. Avoid the Geek Squad fascism club

Geek squad is a club that can be awarded “biggest douche of 2014” with no trouble.  I’ve been denied a job there several times and Katherine’s Fiance Carlos can be a true used-kleenex when it comes to applying due to my interactions towards Katherine.  Geek squad also charges ridiculous costs to fix computers and electronic wares and fails to have the same attire as that lame TV show from 2008 on NBC called Chuck

 

There you have it! Katherine please call me back